Post by bufordt on Apr 4, 2008 12:12:38 GMT -5
Q: How does a blond commit suicide?
A: Jumps out the basement window.
A Blond was riding a horse. Than suddenly the horse started to go faster and faster. At last she screamed "HELP!!!!" Than the store manager came out and unplugged it.
Q: What did the blond say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
A: Oh! look donut seeds
Q: How do you get a twinkle in a blonds eyes?
A: Shine a flash light through her ear.
There were two blondes on opposite sides of a river. One yells across to the other: "Hey how do I get across the river?" The blond replies: "Why do you want to know? You're already there!"
Q: Why are there so many blonde jokes?
A: Because redheads and brunettes have to have something to do on the weekends
Q: Have you heard Benjamin Moore came out with a new paint color called "blond"?
A: It's not too bright but it spreads real easy.
Q: What's the similarity between a blond and a postage stamp?
A: You lick 'em, stick 'em, and send them on their way...
Q: Why do blonds climb chain-link fences?
A: To see what's on the other side.
Q: When is it okay to shoot a blond in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump nearby to re inflate it.
Q: Why can't blonds water ski ?
A: When ever they get wet they lay down and spread there legs.
Q: Why is a blonde's coffin y-shaped?
A: B/c she is so used to having her legs spread.
Q: What is the definition of eternity?
A: Four blondes at a four way stop.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
A: She had it bronzed.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde prisoner who was found in his cell with half a dozen bumps on his head?
A: He tried to hang himself with a bungee cord.
Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: They are easier to keep amused.
Q: How did the blonde explain how his helicopter crashed?
A: He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.
Q: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
A: It is the one with the kickstand.
Q: Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three basement windows?
A: It took him six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
A: It took him two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
Q: How many blonds does it take to make Chocolate Chip Cookies?
A: 5, 1 to mix the batter and 4 to squeeze the rabbit.
Q: How do you know if a Blond has been drinking?
A: She's walking in a straight line
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.
Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb!
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.
Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a checkbook.
Q: What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle?
A: Rebel without a clue.
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: reservations.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
Q: WHY DOES A BLONDE ONLY CHANGE HER BABIES DIAPER ONCE A MONTH???
A: BECAUSE THE BOX SAYS GOOD FOR UP TO 30 POUNDS..
Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory
A: She threw away all the W's.
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday
A: You tell them a joke on Friday.
Q: How do you hit a blonde and she will never know it
A: With a thought!
Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.
Q: WHY DON'T BLONDES BREAST FEED THEIR BABIES?
A: It hurts too much when they boil their nipples.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: "Toe goes in first".